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*how many times can i break till i shatter?* - *~tHe FaBuLoUs LiFe Of AlLiSoN StOdDaRd~*
September 29th, 2008
10:42 pm


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*how many times can i break till i shatter?*
so i remembered i had this thing a week or so ago. right now im in one of those moods that if i were on the phone i probably wouldn't shut up..cause i just have so much to say. i find myself wondering where the past several years of my life have gone. it's like i wake up and think back to times that really dont seem that long ago..and then i realize...it's been a lifetime ago(seems like it). well as of now..i am working at central high school..and going to school 3 afternoons a week. i am loving every minute of being a mom and just wish somehow the time would go a little slower. aubrey was born april 19, 2007. she is absolutely perfect..in my eyes at least! she has been the best thing that's ever happened to me..and when i look at her i realize that every bit of pain i've ever gone through..and every decision ive made...is worth it..because i have her. and after going through so much the past few years...at this point in my life she is all i need. i've learned that there are few people that appreciate what you do in life...nobody really thinks about all the responsibilities i have. i know i am not perfect and there are so many things that i need improvement on..but i work really hard..and am trying so hard to just finish school so that i will be able to provide for aubrey because i have learned that you cannot count on anybody, but yourself. i am happy with the way life is going right now...yea there's been some bumps....and some MOUNTAINS...but i know God put them there for a reason..and that was to make me stronger. being sad doesn't help anything and crying only makes things worse! that's why i try to smile as much as possible. i've been blessed in so many ways. the last time i wrote in here was nearly 3 years ago. in some ways im the same girl i've always been, but i really have grown up and just wish some people were around to see that. i have learned to be happy with who i am. i know what i deserve and could never settle for anything less. i feel like i have aged well beyond my ago, though certain things do make me act childish again at times. Sometimes i forget that i am just about to turn 21. I feel like i should be married and having more kids, but instead im divorced. i have to remind myself that im young and have plenty of time later. i guess i just need to wait for the guy that "gives me butterflies" and can "take all my troubles away". im sure one of those will come around one day. but i know that i dont need anyone. ive learned to be content with myself! :)

Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: the quiet things that noone ever knows-brand new

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