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*~tHe FaBuLoUs LiFe Of AlLiSoN StOdDaRd~* Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "alley_6303" journal:

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September 29th, 2008
10:42 pm

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*how many times can i break till i shatter?*
so i remembered i had this thing a week or so ago. right now im in one of those moods that if i were on the phone i probably wouldn't shut up..cause i just have so much to say. i find myself wondering where the past several years of my life have gone. it's like i wake up and think back to times that really dont seem that long ago..and then i realize...it's been a lifetime ago(seems like it). well as of now..i am working at central high school..and going to school 3 afternoons a week. i am loving every minute of being a mom and just wish somehow the time would go a little slower. aubrey was born april 19, 2007. she is absolutely perfect..in my eyes at least! she has been the best thing that's ever happened to me..and when i look at her i realize that every bit of pain i've ever gone through..and every decision ive made...is worth it..because i have her. and after going through so much the past few years...at this point in my life she is all i need. i've learned that there are few people that appreciate what you do in life...nobody really thinks about all the responsibilities i have. i know i am not perfect and there are so many things that i need improvement on..but i work really hard..and am trying so hard to just finish school so that i will be able to provide for aubrey because i have learned that you cannot count on anybody, but yourself. i am happy with the way life is going right now...yea there's been some bumps....and some MOUNTAINS...but i know God put them there for a reason..and that was to make me stronger. being sad doesn't help anything and crying only makes things worse! that's why i try to smile as much as possible. i've been blessed in so many ways. the last time i wrote in here was nearly 3 years ago. in some ways im the same girl i've always been, but i really have grown up and just wish some people were around to see that. i have learned to be happy with who i am. i know what i deserve and could never settle for anything less. i feel like i have aged well beyond my ago, though certain things do make me act childish again at times. Sometimes i forget that i am just about to turn 21. I feel like i should be married and having more kids, but instead im divorced. i have to remind myself that im young and have plenty of time later. i guess i just need to wait for the guy that "gives me butterflies" and can "take all my troubles away". im sure one of those will come around one day. but i know that i dont need anyone. ive learned to be content with myself! :)

Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: the quiet things that noone ever knows-brand new

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October 31st, 2005
03:40 pm

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*HAPPY HALLOWEEN*
Wow..i almost forgot i had this thing! well today is HALLOWEEN...YAY...we're going trick or treating....NO i am not SHITTING you..lol....like 10 of us girls...really are gonna go! it's gonna be fUn! lol..well life is going great! my senior year is going by so FAST, i haven't talked to justin in a while :( but i guess it's for the best, im planning on moving to athens next year..and i love my friends! lol...life really couldn't get much better (well it could..but wont(! haha! well im super happy...in fact i havent been this happy...since....before i met jud! i guess i'll always miss him...but nobody finds their soulmate at 14..right? m just ready to get out of here. i want to be far away where i wont have to worry about running into him..cause honestly seeing him only makes things worse. but you know what they say..things have to get worse before they can get better. im so excited about moving...i want to go! NOW...get of here is all i want! but i know when graduation comes around..im gonna be sad...cause i love everybody in my grade...and some of the younger..KIDS! im not gonna look back! well..me and clark went to homecoming together...but we're just friends. i guess i really couldn't ever date him...cause it'd be awkward. well that's all for now love you! never forget.....

~im going to see brad paisley november 12th...HELLS YEA!!!~


*my heart can't possibly break..when it wasn't even whole to start with*

Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: *stay fly*-three 6 mafia
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September 21st, 2005
04:28 pm

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*tImE cAnT eRaSe A fEeLiNg ThIs StRoNg...*
well today is the 21st of september...today would mark mine and justin's 3 and a half year anniversary! wow..i just cant believe it's really been that long...well i mean..since we started dating...it's so sad...today could be a really happy day...but it's not..cause we're not together...and we never will be...shadface! im glad that he's some what..still a part of my life...but other than that...things are goin good...im actually making descent grades...and sEnIoR year is off the f*in hook! i have the best friends in the WoRlD..me, lauren, and lynlee hang out like all the time now! i got MoSt TaLkAtIvE of the senior class...and everything's going pretty good! haha..i gotta look on the bright side of things...i'll be outta here in a year..and wont have to worry about justin david harrison..and where he is..and how he's doing! well i mean i prolly still will...cause i love him! but ya know! haha! well life's going pretty damn good! haha..g2g! kEePiN iT rEaL!

*dRiNk It Up BiTcHeS!!!*

*you'll always be a part of me....im part of you indefinetly..boy don't you know you cant escape me...ohh darlin cause you'll always be my baby..we'll linger on....TIME CANT ERASE A FEELING THIS STRONG..oh boy your never gonna shake me....ohh darlin cause you'll always be my baby!!*

Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: yOu'Ll AlWaYs Be A pArT oF mE-mariah carey
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July 12th, 2005
01:22 pm

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*if i'd never seen your face, i probably wouldn't be this way....*
well, i just got home from cheerleading a lil while ago...i dont have to work tonight cause GA said she'd work for me! im about to go to the country club with sarah to go lay out! well....for the past like month i've been writing this book....i know it may sound stupid....believe me...im no writer!!! but when it comes to me and justin....that's a topic i could write on for the rest of my life...well..when we got back together in january..i read him a journal i'd written...and he said....somebody should write a book about us...i mean if you think about it....we'd make a pretty good book....i've already written like 20 pages...and its not even passed a year yet! i figured...im goin off to school in a year...and that i could give him that when i go...cause i dont want him to ever forget what we had....i think i've got the better memory.i care about him a lot...i really do...but im so scared for him!! i saw him the other day...and he's just not JUSTIN anymore! i guess i just know what he's capable of..and right now...he's just lost. but anyways...i guess i still do care! it's a feeling i really dont want to ever give up. and it sucks....real bad....cause i shouldn't! i ran into his dad in mr. chick yesterday...and his dad was like....have you found justin a replacement yet? i told him no...but i wanted to tell him how impossible that is...his dad wouldn't understand though...nobody would....cause nobody else sees the person that i do! i really do believe in him! i just hope maybe one day....he'll realize how great he is. cause he deserves so much more than all this! well, sorry to bore yall with justin!! haha....but if anybody asks....i dont care...shhhh! well caprice is on a boat trip right now with jamie and his family.....they are so cute together...lol...but caprice says they'll always just be friends! well im about to go lay out! i love you guys! MuAh! holla!

*the person that makes you smile, is the person that's worth the while*

*it's something like a broken heart*

*sometimes i feel that im so lucky to have had the chance to love this much, god gave me a moment's grace, cause if i'd never seen your face...i probably wouldn't be this way*

Current Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
Current Music: get it PoPpIn

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July 10th, 2005
05:24 pm

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*i like it when it rains...but not when in STORMS*
well i just got back from caprices house! last nite we had a HURRICANE party! we drank and played games with her dad and ms. brenda..haha! then we had to go to whigham at like 2 this morning to get Jamie! and we went to wal mart..and i bout got pulled over...cause it was past curfew! well i got a new email address...it is thegirlnextdoor06@hotmail.com! lol..cute..huh? well things have been goin really good! well this storm is crazy! we're under a tornado watch....i HATE tornados....they scare me!! well we just got power back...so that's good! well i got my senior pics back....i have some REALLY good ones...so that's good! well im really tired cause i didn't go to sleep till about 4! well the family went to a braves game in ATL...so now im just sittin around the house! i think im bout to go take a nap! holla!

Current Mood: hornyhorny
Current Music: *goodbye time*-blake shelton
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June 28th, 2005
11:02 am

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*my bags are packed, im ready to go.......*
well, im leaving in the morning for CHILE! we're actually driving to ATL and leaving from there! so i had to go buy a new suitcase...cause mine was so lil! i cant believe i didn't get a PINK one! lol...well i've been shopping all week for winter clothes! i got some cute stuff too! its like 2 degrees above freezing there right now....so maybe we'll see some snow! well caprice moved into her new house...so we went swimming there the other nite...and we'll prolly "party" tonite...since i leave 2morrow! lol! everything is goin super....i sent justin a text msg...just to get things straight...but you know him....he's stubborn! im just tryin to live life...and if you stop and watch the news....life is SHORT! and i dont want to have any regrets!! lol...im wise beyond my years! but i do miss him everyday... well life is going great....gosh i cant wait till school starts....me, caprice, and tweedle...are positive this is gonna be the best year ever...cause my class knows how to have fun!!! im so excited!! lol...well im about to go finish packing and then i gotta go to cheerleading! wish me luck on tryin to find our plane...lol...me, my mom, and chas...in the ATL(most busy airport in USA) bye ourselves...lol!!! i love you guys...MUAH!

Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: *leaving on a jet plane*

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June 21st, 2005
11:49 am

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*maybe i should go to chas' baseball games more often..lol*
well...i had an interesting nite last nite...i didn't have to work..so i told mom i would go to chas' allstar game in b'bridge! there was a really cute umpire there..lol! and after the first game he came up and talked to me...and he asked me for my phone number...well chas' team had lost the first game..and they had made some bad calls...so i told him if they made some better calls that i would give it to him....well chas' team won the second game..lol...so i gave it to him! he's like 3 years older than me..he graduated in '03..but i talked to him some after it..and he knows some ppl from cairo! well im goin to play tennis with blake 2morrow..lol..that should be interesting...considerin i know NOTHING about tennis....except that love means nothing..lol brantley taught me that! the only time i've ever played tennis was with brantley and neither one of us know how..but he told me he loved me..lol cause it didn't mean anything...haha! yea...omg...i kinda told blake a big secret and i know he's gonna tell michael...that's not good at all! well today i have to go to some kinda oral surgeon or something in tally about my TMJ....so i get to miss cheerleading! caprice is leaving today to go to the beach with her mom...until either friday or saturday!! then im leaving next wednesday for Chile! lol i've been so busy...and i have to work tonite...yuck..but i think i talked russ into workin for me friday...so that's good...cause i NEVER get friday off anymore...what's up with that? its prolly cause im such an excellent worker..lol JK! well im about to go get ready for tally! i love you guys! mUaH!
omg..and yesterday i got on icq for the first time in like 2 years....lol i sent justin a msg...cause i know he'll never get it...it took me like 20 mins just to figure out my password...lol!

*i probably wouldn't be this way..i probably wouldn't hurt so bad...i never pictured every minute without you in it..oh you left so fast...sometimes i see you standing there..sometimes its like im losing touch..sometimes i feel like im so lucky to have had the chance to love this much..God gave me a moment's grace..'cause if id never seen your face....i probably wouldn't be this way*

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: *probably wouldn't be this way*-LeAnn Rhimes
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June 20th, 2005
10:37 am

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*sUmMeR iS gOiN bY tOo FaSt*
well i had to get up and go to weightroom this morning....geez..when she said we were gonna be conditionin..she WASNT lyin...we had to run a mile and a half...then go up and down the gootball stadium..FOUR times...then run suicides twice! and that was just the running part!!! lol...well atleast im gonna be in shape...that's for sure! well..caprice is moving this weekend....oh yea! now we'll have somewhere to swim!! POOL PARTY!! lol! omg...i ran into michael the other day..well i was walkin in winn dixie and i heard somebody call my name...and it was blake...and michael was with him...and i went and talked to him...i tryed being nice...but he kinda blew me off! geez...i must be a really bad ex girlfriend...cause i dont talk to any of my ex boyfriends anymore! (except for that one...every now and then(lol...oh well!! so anyways..its crazy...he changes his mind TOO much...and we play way too much....lol we never know when we're serious! i guess that's the fun part....if your just havin fun...you cant get hurt....and i think that's why im stayin single....cause i dont want anybody to have the chance to hurt me! i was too hard on myself last time me and justin broke up....cause i felt like...i let him do it again...i knew the whole time...that it would happen again...but i let it happen...i coulda stopped it...if i'd just never met him that nite! but i guess part of living...is learning....lol....and boy have i learned ALOT! lol...well things are goin good...im so busy...i have stuff to do...EVERYDAY...i just want one FREE day! well i think me caprice jamie tommy..and whoever else are goin to wakula springs on wednesday.....i thought my senior pics were that day...but they're thursday! well i think im about to go take a shower...cause i dont smell too good...lol....eww! for sure! i love you guys! MUAHMUAHMUAH!!!

*If being free is worth what you leave behind
And if it's too late for love to change your mind
Then it's goodbye time*

Current Mood: hornyhorny
Current Music: *goodbye time*-blake shelton

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June 15th, 2005
10:58 am

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*new guy???*
ok..so about a week ago ally texted me...and asked me if i would go on a blind date....and that it would be a double date with her and her new boyfriend from pelham! well, of course i was kinda like ...i dunno about that...but she told me he's best friends with her boyfriend and that he saw a pic of me and he wants to meet me! and she said he's a lifeguard....so he can't be to shabby...lol! well i told her i didn't know then...cause i like clark...and like...i would love for things to work out for us...but he's gone for TWO months!!! that's a LONG time...and i mean..we still text each other all the time...but ya know...i dont know...and like the whole thing is the clark-justin situation...is a LOSE-LOSE situation....if i dated clark....and ya know....me and justin would for SURE never be together...which is already highly possible..but ya know..that would seal the deal....but if i was to just like hook up with justin randomly..like in the past....then me and clark would NEVER end up being anything! lol...so maybe it's time to steer clear of cAiRo BoYs!! so i was supposed to meet this guy last nite...but i completly forgot i was helpin out with VBS...lol..me and caprice are in charge of the 3 and 4 year olds...and we got them saying stuff like..."off the chain"..they think its hilarious...and they're parents have no clue what that means...haha! so anyways i think im gonna meet this guy like saturday..im actually pretty excited about it! and ally said that he's already been told to treat me like a princess....lol..it's about time somebody does! i never realized how busy my life had gotten til now....i never have a free day to just chill...well me and caprice went running last nite around town...it was 2.2 miles! not bad...except caprice couldn't run very much...cause she has asma(dont know how to spell it)...and she complained the whole time...lol..but it was funny! well claire is gonna cut and highlight my haire before pictures next week...so that'll be kool! well i think im about to go run....this running thing is actually pretty fun! lol! i love you guys...and thanks for caring enough to read this!

*if loving you is wrong, i dont want to be right*

*the person that makes you smile..is the person that's worth the while*

Current Mood: flirtyflirty
Current Music: *mY sMoKiN sOnG-LiL wYtE*

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June 13th, 2005
11:19 am

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*ReCoVeRiNg..lol*
well i had to get up and go to weight room this morning for cheerleading...turns out the softball team goes at the same time as us...so while they were nice and cool in the weight room...us cheerleaders...were running around the whole school! i've never ran so much in my life...lol! we ran the whole school...then up and down the stadium 3 times...suicides and then worked out! lol...i was tired!!! haha well vanessa just called me a lil while ago and asked me to come over to her house...we're gonna go swimmin and lay out! cause finally the ran is gone...lol...not that i dont love the rain...me and caprice like to play in it! that's always fun! well i have to go shoppin sometime this week to get my stuff for senior pictures! mine are on june 23 at 11:15! that's like a week and 2 days! then im living for chile in SOUTH AMERICA! im gonna be gone there from june 28-july 6! that's gonna be fuN! it's winter there..so it's gonna be a lil chilly! well things are goin good so far...i've talked to clark everyday since he's been gone...:) but ally wants me to meet a guy from pelham..and i told her i would..so i dunno! im just gonna play the field for a while...cause i dont want to be serious my senior year..i just want to have fun..cause who knows...im moving in a year no matter what...whether its ATL...or wherever..who knows..maybe nebraska..that'd be random..lol...the point is...i just want to have fun..and have as lil drama has possible..but i guess that'd mean the hoes would have to keep their legs closed..and that's NEVER gonna happen...lol...a girl can dream can't she? lol! lifes crazy......well i love you guys...and thanks for reading about my very INTERESTING life...lol! things couldn't be better!!! well unless clark was still in cairo...lol...jokin! aite im about to go for a swim! holla!!!!

*if loving you is wrong, i dont want to be right*

*why fall in love...you get more attention when your single? lol*

*if i never tell you again....know that im gonna be there til the very end* :)

Current Mood: energeticenergetic
Current Music: Don't Cha (wish your gf was a freak like me)-pussycat dolls

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